to be well

what does it mean, the phrase, TO BE WELL? what does that mean to me, someone who is sick; sick in the way old people who are dying are sick, and (that's not me.) it means nothing. it means today, i'll be in pain, because something in my GUT isn't quite right. right? something is bugging me but i have no magic spray to kill the bug away. how i would wish for that - for that - for that - silly little pill to kill not spill the contents of my subtext onto un-metaphorical underpants, that, by the way, i throw away.

knock knock.
you done in there?
no i'm not you fucking bitch, just hold your piss a little longer while i clean this goddamned shit.

i'm not in hell, i'm a demon's wet dream, made for a purgatorial conspiratical cigar-bar stories, deemed clean by the quack who took a look inside and won't look back. don't talk to me about diapers, baby, because you got it lucky, baby, everyone jumps to change you, baby, while changing me means operations to remove the sick part of me, heal the bad heart of me, trim the rank start of weeds flowering the art of me.

so to be or not to be is not so much the question, but the place where i can reveal the impression my accession to indigestion is in fact a secession from painful expression so apt in repression but reeking of the medical profession.

i said wait, person at the door. your turn will come. my porcelain throne is nearly yours.